'friend' to loser in 2.5 seconds

i'm steaming. and not just cause i came home and the house was all closed up and i haven't changed out of my work clothes.

work. now there's a four letter word.

i've come to realize that my so-called 'work friends' are hardly friends at all. they don't understand me, don't respect me, don't include me. i have little to no desire to hang out with them outside of the school walls. perhaps they know this and this is why they don't invite me.

well, in the last 2 days i tried to make an attempt, which failed miserably.

i asked if everyone was going out for drinks on the last day of school, and they said 'no, we are going out the friday before. but we could do it tuesday instead.' so today at lunch we decided to go out tuesday. then as we were leaving, tim said something about dinner and i realized that i have bible study at 7. i thought we were going out right after school [like they usually do] for a drink, but i guess it turned into something bigger. so i said that i forgot about a committment on tuesday night at 7, and when asked 'what?' i said i had church. i was promptly laughed at, told to skip it, and called a loser.

nice.

i can't stand it anymore. i hate eating lunch with these people everyday. they are so vulgar, always talking about sex explicity, and gossipping about anyone they can think of.

but how do i leave my clique? i can only imagine what they would say. and the enemies i'd be making.

i dread next fall. hopefully 2 people that i am friends with that are genuine, caring people will be hired. and we can start our own lunch group.

otherwise, i don't know what i will do.