What Sarah Said

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die?

~ Death Cab for Cutie

the hottest day in over 5 months...

Yesterday was crazy. I'm glad today is cooler, I need a little spring before my summer.

no modest mouse for me.

Sometimes living in Philly is frustrating.

Modest Mouse is playing here soon.

But the show sold out before I could get tickets.

Out of 3 cities nationwide that sold out [Seattle and Boise? being the other two]...I happen to live in one of them.

Maybe I can scalp a ticket...

Or pay $190 on ebay for 2 tix, which are general admission, and only actually cost $75. Boo hiss to these people trying to rip me off!

From a 1st grade student...

Why I do what I do...
Originally uploaded by t23e.

drowning my sorrows in festive sugar

My driver's side front window is down and won't go back up. My good intentions of working out when I got home are gone, and instead I am stressed about my car, and eating a bag of jelly beans. The kitties are happy because I threw a blue one [the color I am not eating] on the floor for them to play with. I think today was the worst day since the strike started, and I was so happy to drive around with my windows down after school, and leave my worries behind. Ah well. There is always tomorrow...

4 years ago...

we did aerobics for an hour
drove to the city
received a dear sweet person off the train
on the way home consumed checkers fries and a banana shake
(totally undoing the effects of the aforementioned workout)
hung out a little at my place

this is when the trouble began.

it was after midnight when she said
'jacuzzi time!' with a gleam in her eyes and a smile
knowing i would not say no
so we put on the suits and piled into cars
(after de-icing mine for 20 minutes)
and drove to her house
where we wrapped in towels
jumped into the hot tub
and sat there teeth chattering

while the thermometer mocked us.

the hot tub was not hot
it was a lukewarm tub
with 3 shivering giggling crazy girls
who didnt want to get out for fear of frostbite
but didnt want to stay in for the same fear
eventually we ran into the house one at a time
looking like we were on fire
steaming in our wet suits with too much skin exposed
for this march 7th at 1 am

in the 27 degree weather.

[Friday, March 07, 2003]

losing

Michelle left for a new job.

Ashlee and Fla moved to New Orleans, then Phoenix.

I left Candy, but then she followed suit.

Kim moved to California.

KT moved to South Carolina.

Jess moved to Virginia.

Mark and Elise are leaving for Lousiville at the end of May.

Mel and Justin are leaving for Virginia this summer.

Others, whether physically close or not, have become emotionally distant.

I feel like I have lost too many people, or will very soon.

I pray that I will gain some, before I drown in this flood of loss.

Sick.

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

~ from Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein