this is not a special weekend.
i plan on relaxing, mainly.
but even though it's nothing amazing
i am really excited about it.
i have a goal
to finish one book
[about 300 pages left!]
and read another entirely
and perhaps start a 3rd?
i plan on spending lots of time
in my pajamas
and with my husband
and just enjoying being home
and being in love
this December.

vague much?

this is so ridiculous. in fact, it is so ridiculous that i will not even explicitly state what i am talking about.

anyways.

i faced one of my biggest fears today. no, wait, i conquered one of my biggest fears today. ooh that sounds better.

i was so afraid of this thing that i avoided it for at least 5 years...though i lied and said '3 or 4' or even 'a few years.'

all of my experiences with this have been horrific. no exaggeration necessary. pain and tears and humiliation...these were always present.

but not today.

today was wonderful. i was terrified, i won't lie, and there were still some tears [though very few], but i feel SO much better now.

i should have done this years ago.

This week's top 5

1. enjoying a whole week full of birthday celebrations with family and friends

2. getting my acceptance letter for graduate school and scheduling my first class

3. counting down to my neighbors move in 14 days

4. bundling up and facing the chilly weather with a smile

5. knowing that my loved ones are safe [after one was in the hospital and one flew to Rome!]

$$$

WHY does money bother me so much?

I feel like a reverse snob.
I look down on people with loads of money
who go on fancy vacations all the time
and drive huge stupid SUVs
and etc.
I wish it didn't bother me so much
but it just does.
Maybe because I don't have tons of money
and I never have
and probably never will.

We've had to wait so long
just to feel slightly secure
in our finances
that now we have to wait
again
for other things.
[Oh, that infernal house purchase!]

I hope that if I was wealthy
that I would spend wisely
and GIVE give give
and not splurge so much
as I see others do.
Yes, I am jealous
when you travel the world
all the time
and 'own a house in a gated community'
several states away
and seem to take this for granted.

It's mostly the traveling.

Tonight at small group
K was in Austria [!] so he couldn't come
B just got back from Costa Rica [again]
and is going to Jerusalem next month
and D was in France/Europe for the millionth time
and then at that blasted vacation home.

grr.
I hate to feel jealous.
I know that I need to work on that.

And I should keep saving
in hopes
that I make it to Europe
[for the first time]
before I turn 30.

And I know
I will definitely
NOT
take that for granted.

hmmm...

Years ago when I was student teaching, the principal saw me in the hall and told me to get back to class. Then he realized who I was and the next day the vice principal apologized to me. I guess the principal was too embarrassed? Or just busy.

Ok, so I look younger than I am. No complaints here. I know as I get older I will really appreciate this more and more.

So today I was walking past some politicians and I was wearing a Clarion University sweatshirt [my alma mater]. One of the ladies asked if I went there, and wanted to know if I knew someone, but I apologized and said I graduated 5 years ago. Then a man near her said 'really?! You look like you're about 17 years old.' I told him I'd be 28 in a week, but thank you.

So apparently, whether 22 or 28, no matter, I still look 17.
Interesting.

[or was this the politician's ploy to get me to vote for him? aha!]

Four years ago...

The happy couple
Originally uploaded by t23e.